He is my Prince of Peace

If you have started reading this blog, a member of Destiny Worship Center and you have not taken Santiago's class...STOP! Do not read. Trust me, you will be truly blessed listening to what God has spoken to Santiago's heart by Santi.

I was hyped up after hearing this would be the most important class of the series. The message was about Sonship/Orphan hearts. I didn't really know what to expect. Honestly, I think my biggest struggle with trusting God as The Father is that I did not meet my earthly father until I was around 20 years old. My mom married my stepdad, whom I love, but they had plenty of issues and divorced when I was around 10 years old. My mother was an alcoholic so I was very independent at a young age. I used to think being an independent woman was a compliment. In reality, I was basically living in survival mode just trying to get by in this world day to day and doing whatever it took to be successful...whatever that looked like at the time. This is where the orphan heart comes in...independence is an orphaned heart. An independent (orphan) heart will not trust. Heck no...I did not trust anybody. I used to tell people all of the time that one had to earn my trust before I opened up. I was punishing people for abusing me who had never done a hurtful thing towards me.

I see so much of my behavior (before Christ) as I sit and read the notes and type this blog.

An orphaned heart is confused about their identity. He/She struggles to belong and they feel like they are on the outside looking in.

An orphaned heart struggles to submit to authority. He/She will always have an agenda and only submit if it benefits them. There is the "I will do whatever it takes" attitude. If things are going as planned then the butt kissing is in affect. If not, let the strife begin.

The one that REALLY hit home with me is: an orphaned heart struggles to know love because of his/her own pain and the wall he/she has built around the heart...there is difficulty receiving and giving love. When you close the door to the heart due to pain to keep people out-the reverse side is that you are keeping the pain closed in as well! I have been a little guilty of this lately. I haven't wanted to deal with the emotions/feelings/pain of divorce. I keep walls around my heart when it comes to a lot of things and I can see where that has now allowed the pain to remain. There is life when letting go!

Gratefully, we do not have to let our past dictate our futures. I know that my life has changed drastically since giving my life to Jesus almost three years ago. This is where "Sonship" comes in...or in my case...daughtership.

I am a daughter. I am a daughter of God...The Father...that is who I am. He loves me. When one lives knowing that they are a child of God there is no struggle of trying to belong. When I first became saved...if someone did not like me or had something ugly to say about me...I didn't take it personal anymore. I would tell myself...HA...I am a child of God! I would literally love on that person (with God's love and patience) until they could not help but love me in return because God's love feels too good to reject once you have felt it. A child of God is confident. Somewhere down the path of the past year or so...I developed orphan thinking again. I am so grateful for this class. I have been reminded who I am. I am a lover of God. A follower of Christ. I am His daughter. I no longer have stinkin' thinkin' and a victim mentality.

This blog does no justice to the amazing word Santiago has brought to all who have taken his class. All I can do is share bits and pieces and pray that your heart is stirred just a little bit.

As my journey continues I desire for God to show more of Himself to me as I seek Him. I want to show people the love of Christ through my actions. As a daughter, I want my Father to smile down on me as my face looks towards Him.

This message is intended for women, however, I think it would definitely be good for a man to read as well...

A WOMAN must hide her heart so deep in Christ that a MAN must seek GOD to find it!

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?", you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently- -it just loves to love! Therefore, you have to point it in the right directions: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Prov. 4:23). Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship, and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively- -it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts:

1. Check out the fabric

Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family--the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14). You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you?

The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22). Note--who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because He first loved us" (1 Jn 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man--your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again,--WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you--this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart.

A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.

4. Check out his buddies.

Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother.

How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do . Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.

Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life.

Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision?

Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person--and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader in his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complementarities.

Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotionally, orphysically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you as a rare find, a priceless jewel--because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect, and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself?

Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. He cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by thepull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God Himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired.. T

he truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.

I am taking a bible class at Destiny Worship Center on Sunday morning. The topic for last weekend was sin. This past weekend was on forgiveness. Whew! I must say this was pretty intense yet eye opening for me. I found that I still have a little bit of forgiving to do but not as much as I thought. I found that when I hear certain things I automatically point fingers. Okay, I don't literally point fingers but when I hear about betrayals, lies, deceit, or any other wrong doings...I tend to think of examples of what "other" people have done to me or people I love. The eye opening moment happened last night as I was lying in bed...the Holy Spirit told me..."Don't worry about all the wrong other people have done...ask for forgiveness and repent for the wrongs YOU have done so you can be forgiven and set free." Whew...talk about a reality check. I guess it is easier to think of the crappy things others have done instead of looking in the mirror. Which leads me to one more eye opener...I have found that MOST people who live in depression, bondage or away from Christ are struggling because they cannot forgive themselves of the past. To me, it is easier to forgive other people for the wrong they have done but it is more difficult for me to forgive myself.

So, the class this weekend was awesome! I have 4 more weeks of this amazing class. I can hardly contain myself. So, I thought I would share a little bit of what the Lord has spoken to Santiago's heart. I would love to have his messages on tape as I have a slight memory issue due to the wonderful chemo brain...yes...I will blame it on that even though I had a terrible memory before cancer. LOL! I have notes but there is so much he speaks about in between...

We live in Past-Present or Present Future. So, we are either looking behind or we are looking ahead. The goal of the enemy is to steal your future by making you dwell in your past. I think dwelling in the past can be unhealthy when it is positive too...that is my own personal opinion. To me if you are dwelling in the past versus just visiting every now and then you are not looking forward. The positive "dwellings" could easily twist into depression if one is dwelling on something that is no longer. The enemy can control the mind by keeping a person focused on the past. He will use weapons such as unforgiveness, rejection, bitterness and anger. A person living as PAST-PRESENT is bound by one or more of these weapons in his/her life. A person's destiny in God is in the FUTURE not the past.

The importance of forgiveness-dealing with the past present mentality-

Forgiveness is the key to put the past behind us...letting go and reaching ahead. Unforgiveness in a person's life gives the enemy a right into our lives. It is an open door for the enemy to bring in hate, bitterness and resentment. Unforgiveness is a prison; and you are the prisoner. It hardens our hearts. If your heart is full of hate then there is no room for God in it.

The next statement is powerful and so true: WHATEVER YOU HATE IN A PERSON, IF YOU DON'T FORGIVE, IS THE VERY THING THAT YOU WILL BECOME. Wow! There is an example of this in the Bible (II Samuel the story of Ansalom) and I could give a small life experience. I HATED Jason's addiction. I didn't hate him...I hated the addiction. Yet, as much as I hated the addiction when we split up I found myself dependant on drinking wine to numb my feelings...I became that very thing that I hated. I still struggle. One of the most important statements and reality checks is that if a person does not forgive then they cannot be forgiven by the Father. That is terrifying to me. Matthew 6:14-15 states it very clear, "For if you forgive others for their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do NOT forgive others for their sins, NEITHER will your Father forgive your sins." OUCH!

Refusing to forgive means we are refusing to be healed of our hurt and Jesus already paid the price for our healing. We simply imply that His sacrifice on the cross is not enough.

We don't have a right to be wounded but we do have a right to be healed...made whole. We must forgive people to keep us from having a victim mentality. We will never reach our God given destiny if we are living in the past.

Two other "reality checks" made me think quite a bit. The first one is that being bound to the past means that my future would have a repeat of the same experiences. If a person does not grow from trials/storms then how could they possibly do anything different for it not to occur again? It goes back to that lovely "INSANITY" definition...which I will blog on later...LOL! The other reality check is that CHOOSING TO REMAIN WOUNDED GUARANTEES YOU ARE GOING TO WOUND PEOPLE. Only hurting people hurt other people. When people are filled with joy and peace...they do not walk around hurting others!

How do we learn to forgive?

#1-Because we are forgiven then we can forgive. Jesus paid the ultimate price!!!

We don't forgive from our emotions we forgive from our faith. I think it takes a lot of letting go of our "independence" as individuals. We cannot possibly forgive other people on our own especially when terrible things have occured. We NEED Jesus. Traumatic events are only here to torment our lives if replayed over and over so why not let them go???

Living with a PRESENT-FUTURE heart when it comes to forgiveness is a lifestyle not just situation to situation. We know that life is not going to be a bowl of cherries...if you like cherries...lol. We need to prepare our hearts. There will always be rejection and hurt. The King of kings and Lord of lords was rejected. To think one is too good to be rejected is implying (my opinion) that one is placing him/her above Jesus. We must learn to rely on God. He is the ONLY one whom we can trust 100%. He is faithful. We need to live excited about our lives.

Santi mentioned 3 reasons why we walk through stuff in our lives. To put it harshly one reason is that we are now reaping what we sow. Man...that really sucks but it is the truth. I think coming to that realization one might watch what is sown. The other is that we are walking outside of God's covering. It is about choices. God gives us free will and if we are choosing to do things outside of God then we will experience things that are not pleasant. Lastly, we walk through stuff in our lives because God is working in us. We should never feel as if we have arrived. We have a lot to learn and that means we will experience pleasant and not so pleasant things in our lives. Just because we are walking through stuff...sometimes stinky poo...that does not mean life is hopeless. Do not let satan steal the Joy or the promises of God.

Every issue that I allow God to heal in my life is what gives me authority in Jesus' name to heal others. If I was angry at God or others for having cancer, not being able to have children, going through a divorce and issues I struggled with as a child then I would never have fullness in God and help other people.

Bottom line-unforgiveness does NOT hurt the other person because they could be walking around not giving you the time of day. It hurts YOU.