He is my Prince of Peace

My 'friendboy', who is a deputy, sent me something today that he received from the chaplain at the jail.

He sent me an email this morning that pricked my heart. I generally write blogs and hope that people read them. If people read them...GREAT! If not, it is okay too. This blog is different. My prayer is that all people read this blog...especially those who are not believers!!!!!!

I am sure that you ALL know that I am a lover of Christ. I don't PREACH TO people about my faith aka trying to beat Jesus into your heads, but I am very expressive on how much I love Jesus. Many of you know the 'before and after' of my life...you can all confirm accepting Christ in my heart has been for the best. I never understood 'religion' until Dec. 15th, 2006...I still don't. I do understand the power of Healing, Wholeness, Peace, Joy, and Love of Jesus Christ.

For those of you who might not believe, sort of believe, believe but don't care...please read this below. As I said before...it pricked my heart:

"We pride ourselves in being logical creatures who demand proof before believing most things. Yet, a professor can tell us that there are 100 trillion stars in the sky, and we accept it without question. We accept as absolute fact that an atom has neutrons and electrons spinning around a nucleus, even though we have never seen any of them. We know that light travels 186,000 miles a second even though we've personally never measured it. And we agree that Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address, and that E does, in fact, equal mc2. We accept all these things as facts without ever demanding the proof of their authenticity.

Yet so many of us will reject Jesus- risking our eternal souls even when presented with solid proof, what proof? The witness of thousands of people who saw the miracles of Jesus and Testimonies from dozens who witnessed His death then saw Him alive AFTER His resurrection. And what about the fulfillment of prophecies concerning Jesus? Yet even after being shown so much solid evidence, many enlightened, logical people reject Jesus as "just some myth for the gullible." In fact, the divinity of Jesus is just about the only thing people refuse to accept, even when EVIDENCE is OVERWHELMING. Tell me, where is the logic in that?"

I know too many loved ones that have not accepted Christ into their hearts...they have been blinded by sin, turned away from hypocritical christians and/or the church, brought up in households with teaching as such as mormanism and JW's....the list goes on. I was there at one time in my life. I didn't believe in God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. I don't want to leave this earth with ever thinking that I might have said 'just a little more' to people that I love in this lifetime. So...I won't preach. I just pray that you read this blog with an open heart.

There are moments that I ask God, "Why do 'bad people' seem to get away with things in life? Why does Jason, April and Derik seem to get away with lying, cheating, manipulating, conning, etc...while 'good people' who serve God get the short end of the stick? As always, I look upon scripture for answers because God is faithful...here is what I found:


Question: "Why does God allow good things to happen to bad people?" This question is similar to its opposite: "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?" Both questions refer to what seems to be the perplexing injustice we witness every day. The 73rd Psalm is our answer to the very same questions that also tormented the psalmist. Finding himself in terrible distress and agony of soul he writes, “But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (Psalms 73:2-3).

Answer:

The writer of this Psalm was a man named Asaph, a leader of one of the temple choirs. Obviously, he not a wealthy man, but rather one who had dedicated his life to serving God (see 1 Chronicles 25). But, like us, he had experienced some difficulties and questioned the injustice of it all. He watched the evil people around him living by their own rules, enjoying all the wealth and pleasures of the world and piling riches upon riches. He complains, "They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills" (Psalms 73:4-5).

Asaph was looking at these people who didn't have problems. They could pay their bills. They had plenty to eat and plenty of luxuries. But poor Asaph was stuck with directing the choir and trying to live godly. And to add insult to injury, it didn't seem to be getting him anywhere. He began not only to envy these people, but even to question God as to why He would allow such a thing to happen!

How often do we find ourselves relating to Asaph? We dedicate our lives to serving God. Then we witness the wicked, the ungodly people around us get new cars, luxurious homes, promotions, beautiful clothes, and take fabulous trips, while we struggle to pay the electric bill. The answer lies in the rest of the psalm. Asaph envied these evil people until he realized one very important thing. When he entered the sanctuary of God, he fully understood their final destiny: “When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny. Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin. How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors! As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies” (Psalms 73:16-20). Those who have temporary riches on earth are in reality spiritual beggars because they do not have true riches—eternal life.

There are many times when we do not understand what is happening to us, nor do we understand how providence works. When Asaph entered the sanctuary of God, he began to see that there was no need for him to be envious of the prosperity of the wicked because their prosperity is in reality an illusion. He began to comprehend that the ancient deceiver, Satan, had played tricks with his vision and used lies to distract him from the reality of God. Upon entering the sanctuary, he realized that prosperity is a fleeting fulfillment, a fashion show of what is to pass away, like a pleasant dream that pleases us only for a little while but when we awaken, we realize it was not real. Asaph rebukes himself for his own stupidity. He admits to being “senseless and ignorant” to envy the wicked or to be jealous of the perishing. His thoughts then returned to his own happiness in God when he realized how much more joy, fulfillment and true spiritual prosperity he had in the Creator.

We may not have everything we want here on earth, but we will one day prosper for all eternity through Jesus Christ our Lord. Whenever we are tempted to try the other road, we should remember that the other road is a dead end (Matthew 7:13). But in all truth, the narrow road before us through Jesus is awesome and is the only road that leads to eternal life. That should be our joy and our comfort. “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge . . .” (Psalm 73:25, 27-28)

We need not concern ourselves when good things seem to happen to bad people. We only need to keep our focus on our Creator and enter into His presence every day through the portal of His holy Word. There we will find truth, contentment, spiritual riches and eternal joy.

Question: "Does God love Satan? Since we are to love our enemies, does that mean we should love Satan?"

Answer: One of the most precious statements in all of Scripture is “God is love” (1 John 4:8). But in our limited human understanding, we sometimes believe this means that God loves everyone and everything all the time. This is not so, because the Bible also tells us that God hates many things. He hates idolatry (Deuteronomy 12:31, 16:22; Psalm 31:6) because the worship of false gods robs Him of the praise and glory that belong to Him alone. Proverbs 6:16-19 tell us that God hates seven things: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that plots wicked plans, feet hurrying to run to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and he who causes fighting among brothers. God also hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).

Because God is holy and perfectly righteous, He hates with a pure, holy, righteous hatred. He cannot do otherwise. Neither can He love that which is evil and unholy, and Satan embodies all of that. He is the enemy (1 Peter 5:8); the evil one (Matthew 6:13); the father of lies and a murderer (John 8:44); the accuser of God’s people (Revelation 12:10); the tempter (1 Thessalonians 3:5); proud, wicked and violent (Isaiah 14: 12-15); a deceiver (Acts 13:10); a schemer (Ephesians 6:11); a thief (Luke 8:12), and many, many more evil things. He is, in fact, everything that God hates. The heart of Satan is fixed and confirmed in his hatred of God, his judgment is final, and his destruction is sure. Revelation Chapter 20 describes God’s future plan for Satan and love has no part in it.

It is only because we are “partakers of the Divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4) that we are able to love God and others, even our enemies. In our natural (unsaved) state, we are only able to act according to our fallen natures because we belong to the evil one. When we come to Christ in faith, God gives us a new nature (2 Corinthians 5:17)—His righteous and holy nature—and we are then able to love with His love which He has put into our hearts. Then we love that which is good and pure and holy, just as God loves, and we hate sin and evil, just as He hates it. He tells us to love our enemies so that they will repent and turn to Him while there is still time in this age of grace. But Satan will never turn to God and repent, and therefore God will never love him.

Because Satan is the embodiment of evil and everything that is antithetical to the God we love, we cannot love Satan. When Jesus tells us to loves our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44), He is referring to other people. We pray for them to come to know God through faith, to believe in Christ and be saved from their sins. We are never told to pray for Satan because there is no chance of his salvation. He does not need faith because he has seen God, knows God and has rejected Him. Therefore, the enemies we love and pray for do not include Satan.

So does God love Satan and should we love him? The answer is absolutely, without a doubt, no. God has already declared the end and demise of Satan in the Bible: "And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever" (Revelation 20:10). God has already determined that there will be no forgiveness for Satan; there will be absolutely no chance of him coming into God’s presence, and the sacrificial love God shows for His children is out of the reach of Satan. Even if it were within his grasp, Satan would spurn it just as he spurned God’s rule in heaven.

www.gotquestions.org

This blog is not intended to “preach” fire and brimstone or scare people into salvation by asking the unsuccessful question, “Do you know where you will go if you left this earth today?” Trust me, I considered myself agnostic/atheist about 4 years ago. That question never led me to give my life to Jesus. I am only sorting through my own thoughts, processing my own emotions on death and sharing those thoughts with anyone who cares to read due to so many loved ones passing from this earth. So, comments are always welcomed but I am certainly not starting any kind of debate here…

Death has been in the back of my mind for a couple of years now. As a lot of you know, I was diagnosed with Stage IIIC Ovarian Cancer back in 2008. Although I am in remission, I still have to get past the 5-6 year “danger zone” before my chances of recurrence is lessened. As to date, I have a 50-80% the cancer may come back.

This past year alone, I have had someone close to me pass away and know of people who have passed away at an early age. My uncle Ronnie passed away at the age of 58 from cancer. My best friend lost her grandmother, Elizabeth Jarosin. A high school schoolmate ended her life at the age of 37. And 32 year-old Misty Williams recently passed away of cancer. This is all within 4 months, and we just started the month of April.

I think it would be safe to say that both believers and non-believers ask the question, “Why God?” at one point in our lives when it comes to the death of a loved one lost too soon. Losing a loved one at a young age or losing a loved one who has small children is hard for us to grasp. I often find myself asking the same question while grieving… "WHY?” I think the closest I have ever been to God through prayer and seeking His Truth was the 2007 horrific accident that claimed the lives of Siran Stacey’s wife and four children. For quite some time, I would ask “Why those precious young innocent children?” “Why would this happen to such a beautiful family?” I would wake up in the middle of the night interceding through prayer and asking God to give me some of the pain Siran was enduring. I will forever remember the comfort that I received from God during those times and I was not even a part of the immediate family. How much more was God comforting the loved ones? Something else that comforted me was I knew the Stacey family would be seen again by many in Heaven.

This is where I ask that you read my first paragraph over because some might think I am about to get “preachy or spooky spiritual.”

I am in the middle of reading a book called, “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. Ha! I am in the middle of reading MANY books right about now. Anyway, I read the following and it really made me start thinking.

“Earth is an in-between world touched by both Heaven and Hell. Earth leads directly into Heaven or directly into Hell, affording a choice between the two. The best of life on Earth is a glimpse of Heaven; the worst of life is a glimpse of Hell. For Christians, this present life is the closet they will come to Hell. For unbelievers, it is the closest they will come to Heaven.” –Randy Alcorn

That small but powerful paragraph has my wheels turning!

I have had a lot of emotions and thoughts surfacing lately as I have been reflecting back on the family of Siran Stacy, the death of my uncle due to cancer, lives lost due to cancer and illnesses, my best friend’s grandmother, and the young woman who committed suicide. Although it saddens me that all of these people lost their lives too early…some sadden me more than others. For me, it is the lives of whom I know were not believers that sadden and grieve my heart the most.

Death is inevitable. We will all eventually pass from this earth into the spiritual realm. As a believer in Christ, I know that to be absent of the body is to be present with the Lord. I will go to Heaven and I will be with my Heavenly Father. Of course, there are two sides of that spiritual realm. The other reality is not all people go to Heaven. We ALL have the choice to live life eternally with the Father (Heaven) or live eternally without Him (Hell) but He gives us the free-will to choose. We either accept His Son into our heart or we don’t. Regardless of our choice, we will be face to face with the Father before passing to one side or the other. God doesn’t send people to hell. People choose where eternity will be spent.

Okay, I know some might think that was a little bold or harsh but I felt I had to put a little bit of my “two cents” worth concerning that very important issue. LOL!

I look at my own life, my battle with cancer and my faith. Even with my strong faith… I often wonder if the cancer will come back. Living, dying, faith and salvation has been part of my daily thoughts for the past several years. As a believer, I am not afraid of leaving this earth. To me, if the cancer ever takes my physical body, I have still won! I only pray that I will see many of my friends and family that have not taken the step of faith to accept Christ. I don’t know if it is right or wrong that I don’t beat them over the head with my Bible…hehe just kidding…but I just know that it took me desiring change in my life to accept Christ and receive salvation. I also pray for people to truly understand that no one is promised tomorrow.

Since this blog was somewhat deep, I will end it with a little humor from the book, “Heaven.”

An Indiana cemetery has a tombstone, more than one hundred years old, with the following epitaph:

Pause, stranger, when you pass me by:
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be.
So prepare for death and follow me.

An unknown passerby scratched these additional words on the tombstone:

To follow you I’m not content,
Until I know which way you went.


Blessings and love,
Tasha

1 Timothy 3:1-7

“This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work.

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

I remember Pastor Steve talking about this scripture. Just as Proverbs 31 talks about the “Godly wife/woman” this would be the scripture as to how a husband/man lives his life. Although, I far from desire a mate/spouse in my life, I do feel that I should be wise and write down the characteristics of a Godly man in my heart. I remember I was told years ago and it was brought up recently, the way to spot counterfeit money is not by studying variations of the counterfeit money BUT study the “real deal.” Once you know what the “real deal” looks like you can easily spot the counterfeit if it comes your way. If protecting your dollar is a big deal then how much more important is it to guard your heart from potential poison of another? Proverbs 4:23 NIV states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

1 Timothy 3:1-7 shows us the characteristics of what a Godly man should possess. However, we all have our “wish list” too. I, for instance, would certainly love a great cook. Actually, my list keeps growing and growing. Does this mean I will meet someone with all of these qualities? No. However, I do feel the characteristics of the Godly man should not waver. None of us are perfect. I believe it is all about being balanced. We will not always possess good behavior. Is that man/woman consistently the 1 Timothy 3:1-7 man and/or Proverbs 31 woman? If not, are they more so on a rollercoaster or having an identity crisis? I think consistency is important.
I decided to write this after reading an old email concerning dating that I received from a friend. I will have to post it. For those who are praying for God to place that man/woman of God in your life…keep your eyes and heart open. Do not settle for less than God’s best for you.

Jezebel: A woman who is regarded as evil and scheming.

I was not feeling great this weekend so I ended up staying in Pensacola for church instead of driving out to Destin. Although, I missed DWC very much...God is always right on time and ministers to us wherever we go if we are open to His Word. I visited Pace Assembly of God last night. I really enjoy listening to Pastor Joey Rogers. He preached about the Spirit of Jezebel. I have not heard anything about this in the small amount of time being a Christian. So, I am now intrigued and look forward to learning more. I am certainly one who believes that EVERYTHING is a spiritual battle. Read Ephesians 6:10 in God's Word! I think knowing what we are against can help us defeat the enemy. Here are the notes from last night. As I review all of these notes, I have seen how closely the Spirit of Jezebel has been in my life and how I was affected by that spirit...physically and emotionally. Thank You GOD for opening my eyes and ears. As Pastor Joey stated, "We must have compassion on the person but do not tolerate the unclean spirit."
Here are the notes from Pastor Joey Rogers at Pace Assembly of God on "The Spirit of Jezebel."
NO ONE is immune to deception. When we are faced with differences in truth we should ask ourselves, "Is it true to Jesus? and Does it line up with God's Word?"

The Spirit of Jezebel is gender neutral. So, no...Jezebel does not have to be a WOMAN. Personally, as I reflect back in my own personal life, I have seen the Jezebel Spirit affect me through men.

Characteristics of a Jezebel Spirit:

1. Play religious games
2. Camouflages the desire to control with religious talk
3. Seeks teaching and leadership roles
4. Searches the church or organization for allies
5. Relentlessly points out problems in leadership-exaggerates
6. Pretends to be submissive and humble to gain advantage
7. Hides from true repentance
8. Manipulation is a way of life
9. Changes their opinions and contradicts themselves
10. Compromises as needed
11. Probe's peoples character for weak areas
12. Plays one group against another
13. Works friends against friends and destroys relationships
14. Claims to be misunderstood when confronted
15. No respect for authority

The satanic control factor of a Jezebel Spirit needs two things to operate:

1. An idol you cannot live without
2. Fear factor-feeling of loss, isolation, exclusion, failure-workds under the cover of darkness, it operates by suggestion and innuendo

Jezebel hates:

1. Prayer
2. The anointed man or woman of God
3. The Word of God

Symptoms of an attack from a Jezebel Spirit:

1. Confusion, distractions, discouragement, hopelessness, disunity
2. Paralyzing fear, anxiety, depression, despair
3. Unwillingness to resolve conflict-cannot be reasoned with based on the Word of God
4. Picking to pieces through gossip and negativity
5. Guilt or condemnation, shame or self-doubting, spiritual dullness
6. Physical and emotional exhaustion-can't sleep, no appetite and stress related pain

How to overcome an attack from a Jezebel Spirit:

1. Expose it
2. Confront it
3. Break ties with it-repent of sin
4. Seek the Lord in prayer and fasting
5. Find strength to stand against the spirit-through the Word of God
6. Must be filled with the Holy Ghost
7. Worship the Lord

As with most things in my life, I continue to seek wisdom and discernment so I can know which spirit I am dealing with in others and myself. We are given many opportunities to discern with "red flags" and sometimes a huge slap in the face but if we do not pay attention and put on the Armour of God then we set ourselves up for the enemy to come in to kill, steal and destroy. He is not our friend. He hates us and desires nothing more than to destroy our lives, marriages, friendships, careers, and callings in our lives. Put on the Armour of God. We are in a Spiritual battle.

Hi. My name is Tasha. My color is “Teal.” My awareness month is “September.” I am a 1 year survivor of Stage IIIC Ovarian Cancer. I was first diagnosed with cancer at the age of 34. Within less than a two month timeframe, I would have a full hysterectomy, endure chemotherapy and that was not even the worst of it…the reality that my dream of becoming a mother would never come true. I would like to share my journey with you on my battle of ovarian cancer.

No one can prepare a person to hear the words, “You have cancer.” I certainly was not expecting to hear those words back in May/June 2008.

I had been having a pain in my left abdomen area that shot down my inner thigh to my foot. The pain was more of a dull ache but it had been there for several weeks. In the past, I battled what I thought was Irritable Bowel Syndrome for years along with urgency in urinating. This certainly was not normal for a woman in her late 20’s.I had grown close to my gynecologist due to frequent office visits complaining about my stomach. I had numerous tests done and everything appeared to be normal. This time, I was determined to find answers on what was causing the pain so as a “last resort” my gynecologist performed a vaginal ultrasound. Hello…cyst! Or, so we thought. ”Come back in 6 weeks and we will perform another ultrasound because cysts usually dissolve.” Okay, doc. 6 weeks later, I find out the cyst is now believed to be a tumor on my left ovary. No biggie. Remove the left ovary and tumor. I can still have children with only one functioning ovary. After the first surgery, I was informed my doctor had concerns about the tumor. He sent the tumor to the University of Florida (Go Gators!) and to a local pathologist. A few weeks later, I receive a phone call from a gynecologic/oncologist to set up an appointment. I remember thinking, “what the heck is an oncologist?” I look in a phone book and there it is…a cancer doctor. This is the first moment where I knew something was not right. Thank you…Yellow Pages!

“Good morning, Tasha. My name is Dr. DeCesare of the Sacred Heart gynecologic/oncology. I have reviewed your results from the removal of your left ovary and tumor. You have been referred to me due to the results and findings of malignancy of the tumor. You have ovarian cancer. We are not sure of the staging as of yet…We will have to perform a full hysterectomy and you will have to undergo chemotherapy. Your surgery will be on July 24, 2008. Your life will be forever changed!” Okay, so, my meeting wasn’t exactly like that but you get the jest of it.

“Wait! God? This is not supposed to happen. I am supposed to have babies. I am getting married this year. This is not how my life is supposed to turn out. Stop! God, I turned away from my old lifestyle and not believing in You to living my life only for You. Why are You doing this to me? It is not fair!” This would be one of a few pity-party moments.

I decided before my surgery date to shave my head. I knew that I would have to endure chemotherapy and I certainly was not allowing the devil to “take my hair.” I had a shaving-Tasha’s-head-party in which my mom, new husband, and youngest brother participated in the head shaving. I looked in the mirror and laughed. I thought I looked like Demi Moore in the movie, GI Jane.

Two weeks later, I would find myself checking in for surgery. I didn’t know this day would be the beginning of more trials than I had anticipated. “God, I trust You. I know that you do not want your children to be sick. You do not cause sickness. I believe in You to guide the hands of my doctor and heal my body. I stand on Your Word in Isaiah 53:5 that BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED.”

This would be the day that my dream of children is stripped from me, the results would show the cancer is more advanced (20% cure rate) and my new Christian husband would blame and turn away from God.

The hysterectomy was difficult. I don’t think we truly appreciate our bodies and health when we are healthy. Who knew that our abdominal muscles are involved with every function of our existence? Maybe that is why the abdominal area is considered the core. Go figure! I was in the hospital for approximately 6 days. I would soon start chemotherapy and the battle of my life.

Chemo sucks! There…I said it. If anybody says otherwise then they are lying! I remember reading a book right before my chemo started titled, “When God and cancer meet.” The introduction goes like this…”When I was in the hospital after my cancer surgery, a friend came into my room and told me God was going to teach me great things through this trial. I wanted to take the IV out of my arm, stab it in hers, and tell her, “You get in the bed and learn great things from God, because I don’t want to learn this way.” Chemo is horrendous. There is nothing like a bunch of poison invading the body attacking and causing havoc to the system. First, one has to endure sitting at an infusion center for 6-8 hours while the body is being pumped of the toxic cocktail mix. The sickness doesn’t hit right away so I thought I would be one of the lucky ones to not endure sickness and maybe even keep my hair. Wait. Why did I shave my head? Okay, a day later, reality hits. Vomit. Diarrhea. Body aches. Constipation. Nausea. Dehydration.

“God, I am not as strong as I thought, I am begging You to bring me home.”

Several days pass and I feel like I am coming back to being myself. Praise God! I was ready to celebrate. However, my new husband who turned away from God crashed. He had turned to addiction instead of to God. This would be the beginning of various months in rehab for drug addiction and many feelings of abandonment while battling for my life.

Day 21 of chemo, I start losing my hair. I thought I was pretty blessed to have kept my hair for that long. Most women lose it around day 14…so I am told. I found a website that allowed me to ask questions and connect with other women going through chemo for ovarian cancer. I found that a lot of the women had the most difficult time with the hair loss more than anything.

I recited the Serenity Prayer.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.”

I accepted that I was going through this battle but I would not succumb to the lies of the enemy. I accepted I would not have children. I accepted I was a bald-headed woman but I would not hide under a wig. I accepted that I would face this without my husband but I had God, my family, friends and church. I would be courageous and hold my beautiful bald head high wherever I went. I would be courageous yet use wisdom and support my husband through his battle of addiction. I would live my life one day at a time and enjoy what came my way…good or bad. I would seek God for peace and trust Him that He would turn all of this into something good. Wow! I think this sounds familiar. I remember the friend of the author who had cancer in the book I had read, “When God and cancer meet.”

I do not recall how far into my treatments I was in but I was feeling very sick and losing a ton of weight. I think I was around 100lbs. My Pastor and church prayed for me and anointed me with oil. I remember believing and receiving my healing that moment. I knew no matter what happened within the next upcoming months, I was healed by the Ultimate Physician.

After several treatments, I was introduced to a WONDERFUL drug called, Emend. I strongly recommend this drug to all who can take it when going through chemo. This miracle drug allowed me to tolerate the chemo cocktail. I still had the body aches but I no longer continually vomited. Thank You, God!

There is actually quite a bit of humor when having cancer and going through chemotherapy. I walked around bald most of the time. Yes, I did lose my eyebrows and eyelashes too! I wasn’t trying to make a statement. I was trying to be as comfortable physically as one can be during this trial. You can only imagine the response of children. I found that children either love you or they are terrified. I had one little girl cry when she saw me in the line at Publix buying groceries. I slowly moved to another line. I would have some children stare trying to figure out “what” I was…I did call myself an alien every so often. For the most part, I would experience children with an angelic smile on their face slowly lift up their hand and wave at me. Precious!

My last chemo treatment was December 5, 2008. Chemo is finally over!

You might be wondering what happened with my husband during this entire battle with cancer. Well, I sought the Lord with much prayer (after many attempts of him getting clean) and I was released from him. I feel that we are sometimes released from battles that are never intended to be ours. God will be his Strength, Healer, and Deliverer as He was mine.

I am a little over one year being cancer free as I write, “My Journey with Cancer. “ I still have blood drawn every 3 ½ months for my CA-125 marker and CT-scans twice a year for the next 5-6 years. I have moments right before my check up where I get nervous and thoughts of “What if the cancer is back?” I have a head full of beautiful dark curly hair. God blessed me with better hair! I have put on some much needed weight and I am now learning about menopause at the age of 36. I know that I have much more to learn on this world of cancer that I scarcely knew existed until 2008. I am looking into starting a cancer care ministry within my church. I guess the Lord will open the doors if it is His Will. I am forever grateful to my family, friends, and church for the support and prayers extended to me. Most of all, I am forever grateful for the lessons learned, faith increased, and the power of Healing by the Lord.

I pray those who read “My Journey with Cancer” will be encouraged to find strength and hope from my story but most importantly, to find strength and hope from God. I encourage the one going through cancer and family and friends to read the book, “When God and cancer meet” by Lynn Eib. It is a book of true stories of hope and healing.

I have only been a Christian for 3 years. I truly believe the enemy was testing my faith and relationship with God. I was only a follower of Christ for 1 ½ years when diagnosed. It is easy to trust and love God when we are on the mountaintop. What happens when we are in the valley of death and divorce? I could have never gotten through all that I endured without the love of my Father in Heaven. He loves us!

Blessings and healing to all in His name,
Tasha